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Sunday, April 14, 2013

You're not alone machi!

On another one of these indistinguishable days, I returned home and checked my emails. There was an email from my dearest friend and it triggered a series of thoughts, feelings - I felt like a balloon propelled by rocket fuel and like a meteoroid sucked by immense gravity at the same time.

Of those very few distinguishable days in my life, you have featured in many of them dude. KPHS have featured in most of them.

I have met a lot of people so far and life continues to shrink me to a midget, teaching me that I know nothing; but absolutely nobody seem to approach life the way we did back then; absolutely nothing makes me feel like the way I did back then. Whatever we did, we made it our own. Just reminds me of these lines,

Me and some of my friends
We were gonna save the world
We were trying to make it better
We were ready to save the world
But then the weather changed
And the white got stained
And it fell apart
And it breaks my heart

Obviously we weren't trying to change the world but we were not ready to listen to what the world said. And I know that we aren't done yet!

Time and circumstances have separated us but only physically and only for a while. I know we will back.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

You can't increase the circumference of the glass but you could break your cookie

Today, I saw a kid who was intelligent than I was at his age. He reminded me of an incident that happened when I was a kid of similar age. I have to admit that I have a rather bad memory and I do not remember a lot of things from that age. But this one, a very important incident for me, would have been insignificant for anybody else.
One fine evening back in 1992, when I was probably not more than 5, I was holding a cup of milk in one hand and a cookie on the other, annoyed that the cookie was too large (or that the glass was too small) to be dipped into the milk, while my mom was in, what seemed to be an important discussion with my uncle (dad's youngest brother). I kept interrupting their discussion asking for a bigger glass. My uncle probably didn't appreciate me bugging my mom, turned at me and said, "Why don't you stop annoying your mom for a moment. Do you really need a bigger glass? Can't you break the cookie into two and dip it?". Having said that, he turned back to my mom and continued his conversation. But I felt humiliated. It wasn't an ingenious idea or anything. Any smart kid would have done it but not me. This kid I saw today wasn't bugging his mother for a bigger glass. He instantly knew what to do. But there I was, not realizing that going for a bigger glass wasn't the only solution. I won't say that I started thinking differently from that day or anything. It would be completely dishonest if I said that opened my eyes. On the contrary, I would have had been much happier if I had not been offered that suggestion or a bigger glass and left on my own to figure that out.
And my uncle who accidentally inspired me to think of a workaround is by far the most perfect man I ever knew. And it baffles me till this date why such a person would end his life himself. Or perhaps he knew better.
I cannot possibly imagine what would have been going through the mind of a person who had decided that death is the only fix. But just a few hours before he hung himself, he took me to a room, gave me a speech of advice, which,  unfortunately I had forgotten for the most part, except that he insisted that I should not trouble my parents and that I should study well. Perhaps I would have been a better individual if he had stayed alive and guided me.
A dearly loved son, a beloved younger brother of five, a brilliant student, a charming person, a greatly respected and trusted friend of many, decided to end it once for all. I can't help but ask, "what is this life worth?"

Monday, December 5, 2011


"டேய் சிவா, பொருள் வாங்கினதும் அவன போட்டுரு "
"வின்சென்ட், நாளைக்கு பொருள் சிவா கைக்கு போகக்கூடாது. உயிர்தான் போகணும்"
"டிஷ்யூம், டிஷ்யூம்"
"சரக், சரக், சரக்"
"ஏலே சிவா, எவ்வளவு நேரம் தூங்குவ, எந்திரிச்சி காபி குடிடா. ஏப்பா வின்சென்ட்டு, நீயும் இந்த காபி தண்ணிய குடி, அவன் வந்துடுவான்"